Just touching base with my inner Wedding Nazi today.

Here’s an FYI for those of you who have wondered about titles:

Okay. Let’s use a real life couple as an example: how about Sarah and Ty Pattison? (First Tip: did you notice that I put my name first and my husband’s name second? Kind of goes against the grain, doesn’t it? I know it takes some getting used to,  because in casual language, I always, always, always say, “Ty and Sarah Pattison.” But guess what? That’s just plain wrong. One way to remember is this: don’t separate a man from his last name. Or, another little rule to remember: “ladies first.” Whatever helps you keep it straight.

Next, if a lady and a man are on separate lines, it’s implied that they are not married. They may be divorced (or they may be dating, depending on the application). Example:

Mrs. Sarah Pattison

Mr. Ty Pattison

The above is wrong, because it implies that we are divorced. As a matter of fact, I should never be Mrs. Sarah Pattison, unless I leave Ty high and dry (which I’m not gonna do!) I should always be Mrs. Ty Pattison. This feels very old school, but it’s also very right and correct. Tip Two: it’s always safest to use a married woman’s husband’s name in formal addressing (ie, “Mrs. Ty Pattison). Even if Ty died and I became a widow, I’d still be Mrs. Ty Pattison, formally.

However, if you just feel weird writing something to me using Ty’s name, the best bet is to go with a casual, informal, “Sarah Pattison.” Lose the title altogether. That’s what I do in most of my own personal correspondence because I feel like I’m too young to call my friends by their husband’s first names. Of course, there’s no age limit on proper etiquette, so maybe I just need to get my act together.

BUT, if you’ve been invited to a party and both names are on the envelope like this:

Miss Sarah Nyberg

Mr. Ty Pattison

Then it’s assumed that we’re “together” or dating, and we’ve been sent one invitation, and we are both invited. This happens most typically when a couple is living together.

Tip 3: Miss is only for an unmarried lady. Southerners, take heed! Here in the south, everyone is called “Miss” or “Miz” when most of the time it’s because the southern drawl just doesn’t make room for “Miss-us” (Mrs.).

Mr. is for a man. Duh. No problems with this one.

Ms. Now this is where it gets interesting. Ms. actually didn’t gain popularity until the feminist movement in the 1970′s. Ms. was originally used on tombstones to save space (crazy fact!) so they didn’t have to fit the whole “Miss” or “Mrs.” title. It was not used to indicate marital status in the early 1900s. It didn’t pick up steam until Gloria Steinem was listening to a radio station talk show which suggested it’s use for honorific titles for women. Ms. Steinem (did you catch that!) thought it was perfect and immediately named her new publication, “Ms. Magazine.” Ms. was approved for official government documents in 1972 and has gained strength ever since.

The Emily Post Institute says that Ms. is the default address for women in America if you don’t know a woman’s marital status or she is married but hasn’t made it clear how she’d like to be addressed.

Tip 4: Doctor should be spelled out, not abbreviated. Seriously. It’s one of those weird things.

Phew! That’s just a little tidbit for you to chew on… (Notice the informal signature, No Title At All).