Reading Into It
I’ve been in the same book club for ten years. Ten years ago, life was different. I had daughters aged 2 and 3. I was so tired, and kind of lonely. I think we forget how isolating it can feel to be at home with little people. Important, yes. Lonely and isolating, also yes. Maybe you’re there right now.
When my friend pitched out this idea of doing a book club once a month with adult women and no kids, I was all ears. Once she added wine, dinner, and a grown-up conversation, I was sold.
Ironically, that friend moved out of town just a few months after we started the club. While we’ve had some ladies come and go, we’ve maintained a solid core over the ten years. We’ve also added new regulars. Ours isn’t what I’d call a “closed group.” We try to leave the door open for new folks, too. It’s grown organically.
But even with the right people, good food and wine, and no children, there is one critical component to the making of a good book club. And it’s not what you think: it doesn’t even have to be a great book. The only must-have for a great book club:
You Must Talk About the Book. At Every Book Club.
That’s right. Otherwise, you have just joined a nice supper club.
At our book club, (aptly named Who Picked This Book Anyway? because during every discussion that question seems to come up), the hostess—which changes each month—prints out a list of questions and helps facilitate the discussion.
To me, the discussion is what makes it a book club. It makes it worth the reading and the monthly commitment. To be honest, it also takes a certain amount of commitment and grit and leadership to make sure that it doesn’t drift into a supper club.
All this said: the dinner and the wine are nice. And it really is better when it’s been a great book. We try not to do fluff. Because if conversation is important, then you’ve got to have something of substance to talk about. Or at least, we’ve found that to be helpful.
Of course, when you’ve been in a Book Club for ten years, you’re bound to come across some terrible books. But truly awful books can sometimes lead to a great discussion. And then occasionally, a book that I’m certain is horrible will get different reviews from my peers once we meet: that’s always interesting.
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When I go in for a chemo treatment, I sit in a semi-comfy recliner all hooked up with IVs to my meds and fluids. The treatments takes about three hours or so. It’s the perfect time to read a book. I bring a blanket, warm socks, and good book.
Looking down the tunnel of another 3 months of chemo, I’ve been on the hunt for great reads. The thing about being in a book club (where you discuss the book, not a supper club where you do not) is that you begin to get a handle on what kinds of books you like and why. You begin to understand what sort of writing style pulls you in. You begin to grasp what elements of a story stick with you months and even years after you read them.
Occasionally, you come across a great book.
I’ve done a deep dive of the list of books we’ve read over the last ten years, and I’m pulling out the ones I’d call great. A great book can be fast-paced or slow paced, character-driven or story driven, fiction or non-fiction. A great book is one that sticks with you.
To be fair: I did some back and forth communication with my book club prior to writing this post, and we aren’t always in agreement. There were a few club favorites that I didn’t love. There are probably a few on this list that resonated with me more than with other members. But I do think that I can stand by and say that these are all really good books and really interesting stories.
One final note before I unveil my list of favorites: I do think that there is a difference between a good story and a great book. I’ve read some really great stories that aren’t on this list. These are the kinds of books that get rave reviews and are passed on from friend to friend. But there is something magical and hard to put a finger on in the making of a great book: it’s all about the writing. I wish I could make that more tangible, but I can’t. It’s very personal. For me: it must be efficient and to-the-point, not overly descriptive or flowery. Yet, it must also be developed and thoughtfully crafted in order to elevate beyond “a good story” into a “great book.” Oh, and I’m always a sucker for a story with a thread of redemption, but not in an overt way. You’ll see: I have a whole category for that.
Caveats: I don’t do horror, I don’t do anything too dark, and I’m actually *GASP* not a huge fan of World War 2 stories. (I think I’ve just read too many). I’m also partial to memoirs. Also: I can’t stand cheesy, sappy, or trite. So, you can take this list with those grains of salt, so to speak.
So, without further ado, here’s my list of my personal favorites:
Best Memoirs
Lit : Mary Karr
Lit is about getting drunk and getting sober, becoming a mother by letting go of a mother, learning to write by learning to live. It’s the story of finding hope through community and honesty: with yourself, with others, and before God himself.
Educated : Tara Westover
Westover recounts overcoming her survivalist Mormon family in order to go to college, and emphasizes the importance of education to enlarging her world. You won’t even believe the odds she overcame to get herself into school, let alone to survive. I found myself rooting for her at every turn.
The Glass Castle : Jeanette Walls
The book recounts the unconventional, poverty-stricken upbringing Jeannette and her siblings had at the hands of their deeply dysfunctional parents. The thing is: Walls writes what could be a horribly depressing book in a lighthearted and easy to read way. On paper, it would be horrific. But in her upbeat and positive voice, she pens a story of hope.
Quirkiest
Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine : Gail Honeyman
You’ll hate then love 29-year-old Eleanor Oliphant, a social misfit with a traumatic past who becomes enamoured of a singer, whom she believes she is destined to be with. I think it’s worth noting that this is the only book I can remember that got a thumbs up from every single book club member!
The Sisters Brothers : Patrick DeWitt
I was smitten with Eli and Charlie Sisters, Wild West assasins that begin to question exactly what they’re doing and why. Honestly, I feel like this got so-so reviews from the Club, but I delighted in it. Apparently, I’m not the only one: it was made into a movie starring John C Reilly and Joaquin Phoenix in 2019.
Mind-Blowing True Stories
Dreamland : Sam Quinones
Want to know how the perfect storm combined into creating the Opiod epidemic in America? If that sounds boring, you haven’t read this book. Sam Quinones is the former Los Angeles Times reporter who began to puzzle together what was happening all the way from Mexico to doctor’s offices to pill mills to pharmaceutical companies… and you’ll find a new compassion for accidental addiction.
Nothing to Envy : Barbara Demick
Nothing to Envy follows the lives of six North Koreans over fifteen years—a chaotic period that saw the death of Kim Il-sung, the unchallenged rise to power of his son Kim Jong-il, and the devastation of a far-ranging famine that killed one-fifth of the population. There is only one way to actually know what goes on in North Korea: talk to the survivors who have defected successfully. PS: It picks up after chapter 4—don’t give up too soon.
Unbroken : Laura Hillenbrand
Unbroken is a biography of World War II hero Louis Zamperini, a former Olympic track star who survived a plane crash in the Pacific theater, spent 47 days drifting on a raft, and then survived more than two and a half years as a prisoner of war (POW) in three brutal Japanese POW camps. It has one of the best endings to a story that I’ve ever read.
Can’t Even Put It Down
Shadow of the Wind : Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The novel is actually a story within a story. The main character Daniel Sempere, a boy living in Barcelona during the 1950’s. His quest to find a lost book leads him to discover new stories of his own, full of twists and turns. This is one of my favorite books ever. Don’t just take my word for it: it’s one of the best-selling books of all time, with over 15 million copies sold worldwide.
The Thirteenth Tale : Diane Setterfield
Biographer Margaret Lea is summoned to the Yorkshire home of dying novelist Vida Winter, who has handpicked Margaret to write her biography. Though initially hesitant, Margaret becomes fascinated by the details of Vida's disturbing childhood. This one is a page-turner with the story changing chapter by chapter.
American Dirt : Jeanine Cummins
American Dirt is an urgent, blistering, unforgettable book. In her portrayal of Lydia and Luca, a mother and son forced to leave their Mexican home, Jeanine Cummins has given face to migrants everywhere who flee violence and near-certain death in search of only one thing: a chance at life. I’ll say this: I think this story softened my perspective on some things that needed softening in my heart. And I’m not the only one who felt this way. Well done, Ms. Cummins.
Cutting for Stone : Abraham Verghese
A coming-of -ge story about twin brothers born of a secret union between a beautiful Indian nun and a brash British surgeon. Orphaned by their mother’s death and their father’s disappearance, bound together by a preternatural connection and a shared fascination with medicine, the backdrop of Ethiopia on the brink of revolution makes for dynamic storytelling.
Classic (Okay: only one made my list)
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn : Betty Smith
This 1943 semi-autobiographical novel made me laugh and cry within pages of one another. The story focuses on an impoverished but aspirational adolescent girl and her family living in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York City, during the first two decades of the 20th century. It surprised me greatly how much I loved this book.
Stories with a thread of redemption
A Prayer for Owen Meaney : John Irving
Eleven-year-old Owen Meany, playing in a Little League baseball game in Gravesend, New Hampshire, hits a foul ball and kills his best friend's mother. Owen doesn't believe in accidents; he believes he is God's instrument. What happens to Owen after that 1953 foul is both extraordinary and terrifying. At moments a comic, self-deluded victim, but in the end the principal, tragic actor in a divine plan, Owen Meany is my favorite, quirkiest hero ever imagined by an author. PS: If you saw the sub-par movie Simon Birch—get that out of your brain and go read this book. PPS: This one goes on my Top Five Favorite Books Ever.
Ordinary Grace : William Kent Kreuger
Told from Frank's perspective forty years after a fateful summer, Ordinary Grace is a brilliantly moving account of a boy standing at the door of his young manhood, trying to understand a world that seems to be falling apart around him. Part mystery, part coming-of-age, I loved Kreuger’s quick and simple writing style. But I think what I appreciated most was the realistic portrayal of fissures and cracks in a pastor’s family.
The Dutch House : Anne Patchett
Set over the course of five decades, The Dutch House is a melancholy fairy tale about two smart people who cannot overcome their past. Despite every outward sign of success, Danny and Maeve are only truly comfortable when they’re together. Throughout their lives, they return to the well-worn story of what they’ve lost with humor and rage. But when they’re forced to confront the people who left them behind, the relationship between an indulged brother and his ever-protective sister is finally tested. This one is my book of 2020. I loved it. Absolutely loved it.
Jayber Crowe : Wendell Berry
Oh Wendell! Thank you for writing this book. It is forever imprinted on my soul.
"This is a book about Heaven," says Jayber Crow, "but I must say too that . . . I have wondered sometimes if it would not finally turn out to be a book about Hell." It is 1932 and he has returned to his native Port William to become the town's barber. Orphaned at age ten, Jayber Crow's acquaintance with loneliness and want have made him a patient observer of the human animal, in both its goodness and frailty. Wendell Berry's clear-sighted depiction of humanity's gifts--love and loss, joy and despair--is seen though his intimate knowledge of the Port William Membership.
I guess that about sums it up. If this was pure indulgence on my part: forgive me. I do hope that you’ll take some notes and give one of these a try. Readers are leaders, or so they say. And I always love an opportunity to put the screens down, turn off the noise, sit by the fire with a cup of tea… and read a book.
